It’s been tricky few days..
I feel tired, exhausted from all the interviews, from constantly trying to stay positive, fight, and ultimately, from not succeeding.
I can do all these jobs, I can do anything I put my mind to. But the world of selling oneself doesn’t work in my favor. I’m not selling myself like a lot of people are. People who are doing amazing jobs at bullshitting their way through life. You have to be certain mold, certain color (and I don’t mean race now) and certain flavor. I’m totally out of this world by the look of it.
But if that is the case, tell me. If I’m not what you expect, doesn’t that make you too picky? Doesn’t that make you look for another Jane or Joe that already exists at your company? Because I don’t fit that profile?
I’m upset. And don’t try to tell me to get my shit together and really stand up and rise to it, and keep at it. I’ve fallen in love with jobs and companies more than once in the last 4 months, it has been an emotional rollercoaster which is morphing itself into a gluey, smelly and dirty downward spiral that just screams disappointment. Imagine yourself to fall in love with something so many times in such a short space of time..